Foreplay is not an option – it’s mandatory. It’s also something that takes time and planning. It is an absolute must for women in the vast majority of cases.
The most important thing is the willingness to make an effort. Here are some tips to improve your pre-coital game and make your partner happy.
Ask Your Partner What Turns Them On
Most women appreciate the question because it shows their partner cares about what they want. Good sex doesn’t happen without communication, no matter what kind of sex you’re having. Asking your partner to be open and honest about what gets them off and reciprocating will create an erotic and trusting atmosphere.
Go Slow
Start gently and slowly. The clitoris is extremely sensitive and easy to overstimulate and hurt, especially when you press down too hard or otherwise stimulate it directly. Don’t dive right for the head. Rub the sides or the hood (the little spot where the labia meet above it).
Teasing the clit is a great way to start because that’s what it responds best to. Suck and lick it, create some tension, then stop and start again after a while.
As for penises, taking your time getting to hand or oral sex will increase pleasure. It’s not necessary to go right for it, as with the clit.
Try Sex Toys
When we think of sex toys, we imagine vibrators and dildos, and they’re indeed among the most popular types of toys. Contrary to popular belief, vibrators aren’t just for women, but many appreciate them. You can run one along your partner’s inner thighs, up and down their labia, and finally around the clitoris. Vibrators can also be used on the tip of the penis, the balls, and the perineum.
Not a fan of vibration? There are plenty of toys that don’t vibrate. There are sucking toys, rotation toys, and non-vibrating dildos of all shapes and sizes.
Before deciding on a toy, discuss it with your partner. Don’t assume they’ll love it and get it as a surprise. It’s best to browse online shops together and choose some fun things to try. Check out this website for some effective and affordable options.
Play With Temperature
There are easy and fun ways to speed up arousal, such as massage oil candles and ice cubes. Your choice will depend on preference, i.e., for cold or heat. For some very light BDSM fun, use a candle to drip wax on your partner’s body or try ice cubes.
A massage candle is the safest way to start if you’re new to wax play. Before it comes into contact with the skin, drip high so the oil cools. Then, massage it into their skin.
Take a Bath Together
Set the scene for pleasure before you get into the steamy shower or candlelit bubble bath. You could undress each other or strip down together before getting in. Just don’t take too long because the water in the tub will get cold.
Undress Slowly, and Prepare a Surprise
It’s safe to assume you’re no longer in high school if you’re reading about foreplay. Stripping down in seconds to frantically get to the “meat and potatoes” is the fastest way to kill the mood. Instead, take off your partner’s top, then wait before taking off her skirt or pants. Kiss or caress any newly revealed part. Massage her legs after undressing her. After you take her bra off, gently suck and lick her nipples. Many men enjoy nipple play too.
As for the surprise, have no qualms about sexy underwear – it’s for everyone as long as they find the right fit. Men can give low-rise briefs a shot.
Learn How to Give Erotic Massages
Give your partner a massage that will tease and relax them at the same time. Set the mood with music and lighting before you start. Soft lighting is vital. Forget fluorescent lights.
Then, start with their back, legs, or arms. Their muscles need to be relaxed before you move to their erogenous zones. Wait for complete relaxation before getting to the thighs, butt, knee pits, neck, and privates.
The Figure-8 Works on Men and Women
This technique refers to moving your tongue in a figure-8 pattern. On a female partner, suck on the clit gently until it swells, then pull the labia away from it with your fingers. Start going around in circles with your tongue. Flick it up and down or from right to left, etc. Work up to a figure-8 eventually, varying the degrees of pressure.
On a male partner who’s into rimming, run your tongue from the spot right under the balls to around the anus and back up in this pattern.
Involve all Senses
The more sensory play, the better the orgasm. Engage the senses of taste, touch, sound, smell, and sight. This includes pleasant fragrances, soft lights, and soothing music. Try feeding each other chocolate or fruit. Place the food on body parts to eat off of or lick each other’s fingers. The possibilities are endless.
Master the art of Dirty Talk
Whisper in their ear what you want to do to them, brushing your lips against the earlobe. Be deliberate and slow and as perverse as you can. It can work wonders. Here’s a great beginner’s guide to dirty talk.
Kiss Passionately
Some people can’t do without frequent, passionate kissing. If your partner is like that and you sense they’re losing interest, kissing will attract it again. Combine gentle tongue play with closed-mouth kisses on the forehead or cheek.
Final Thoughts
When your partner shows initiative, and whatever they’re doing is working, do let them know. Praising them will make them more likely to take on the role of initiator in the future. Check in with them to make sure they feel good. People are different, so pay attention to how they respond. If something isn’t working, stay positive and move on to your next play. Full-on involvement and enthusiasm are a must for everyone.
